This statement is shared for awareness based on my personal experience. My intention is to provide clarity for others who may have experienced similar patterns of emotional abuse, manipulation, or harassment. The following reflects my personal experiences involving Kolton Lark from 2017 to 2026.

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I dated Kolton Lark in 2017 in San Diego, California, for approximately 11 months before he was stationed in Okinawa, Japan which he continued to engage with me until I caught him in lies and then suddenly now he wants nothing to do with me publicly. During the relationship, he frequently portrayed himself as a victim through repeated personal sob stories that invoked sympathy. Looking back, I believe this influenced me to remain in the relationship longer than I otherwise would have.

 

Our relationship was on and off due to it's Kolton's way or the highway, if I didn't agree he'd breakup with me until he calmed down and gave sob stories. For years Kolton has been creating fake accounts to contact me and uses San Diego area code numbers from apps to contact me so I won't have proof to report to his wife and family, whenever I've ever told them anything he gets restraining orders on me to make me look crazy and to silence me, last time he sent me a love letter then proposed to his gf because I sent it to her and then got a restraining order to confuse her but he didn't know my address this time around so he tried to be nice and talk to me to trick me into giving him my address but his plan didn't work. He is always talking to me behind everyone's back but I've stop telling because there's no point he says I'm crazy so I'll allow him to play a game with them but I know the truth.

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Although he has since minimized the seriousness of our relationship by stating publicly that we dated only three months and were never serious, my experience differs. We spent significant time together, I was involved in his daily life, met members of his family, attended church with him regularly, and maintained an intimate relationship throughout that period.

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Kolton knew I was transgender before approaching me. During the relationship, however, he repeatedly made comments that I experienced as degrading and humiliating regarding my identity. On one occasion while attending a movie together, he stopped holding my hand and stated, “I don’t want to hold your hand, it feels like a guy’s hand.” He then proceeded into the theater while I remained visibly humiliated. After the movie, he demanded I hold his hand again and threatened to end the relationship if I refused.

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Several months into the relationship, Kolton disclosed to me that he engaged in cross-dressing privately and wore women’s lingerie beneath his clothes while presenting as male in public. Years later, he further stated that he desired to be a woman himself like me if they world was safer but he will hide until then. In my personal opinion, some of the hostility he directed toward me appeared connected to unresolved internal conflict regarding his own identity, though that is my perception alone.

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Prior to this relationship, I was confident and secure in myself. Following this relationship, I experienced significant anxiety and emotional distress.

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Kolton also made repeated statements regarding race and gender roles that I found troubling. Early in the relationship, he stated he was not attracted to white women and found them “boring.” Later, he stated, “If you and I don’t work out, I’m going to start dating white women because they don’t talk back. Take notes.” He is now married to a white woman significantly younger than him. While his current relationship is his own business, those prior statements remain concerning to me in retrospect.

Throughout the relationship, I was blamed for his erectile dysfunction. I later learned from his ex-wife that he had experienced similar issues in their relationship. She also informed me that he had allegedly been physically abusive toward her.

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Regarding my gender confirmation surgery, Kolton repeatedly told me I needed the procedure so he could get an erection. However, the night before my surgery, he pressured me to cancel it. When I refused, he blocked communication with me for several days. Four days later, while I was in recovery and in significant pain, he contacted me and demanded photographs of the surgical results. When I refused, he stated that he intended to show the photos to his then-girlfriend so they could laugh because it was “probably fake and nasty looking.” He laughed while making this statement. I was in recovery with an IV and in severe pain, and the call caused significant emotional distress. Now, I look back and wonder is his reason for wanting me to cancel the surgery because now I would see I wasn't the blame of his ED, because now I have a vagina but he wants nothing to do with me but before he always talked about this day when he can prove to me how he is in the bedroom, but he moved on soon as my surgery came. He now states he "wants a real woman and I will always be a man", so confusing and evil, he called me her/she and beautiful until now, he says I am a man now that he is dating someone else.

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After moving on to another relationship, Kolton later contacted me and referenced private text message conversations in a manner that caused me to believe my communications had been monitored. Based on the circumstances and details referenced, I personally believed my phone or communications had been compromised. He was later removed from military service under circumstances I understood to involve misconduct.

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At another point, I believed I saw Kolton at my gym. When I contacted him regarding this, he denied being present and stated he was still in Japan, further telling me I was “crazy.” Later that same day, I found online information indicating he was no longer in military service and was not located where he had claimed. After confronting him with that information, he subsequently obtained a restraining order against me, which I perceived as retaliatory and intended to discredit my concerns.

To this day, I continue receiving suspicious communications from untraceable phone numbers, text applications, and anonymous social media or email accounts that I believe may be connected to him, though they are not sent directly under his name.

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Kolton has threatened to shoot up my nephew's school when he was in the first grade, Kolton has also threatened my life, whenever he gets mad he becomes evil, and says harsh statements but other than that he plays a nice guy or shy guy depending on who he is around. Right now since he is in Idaho around white people I am sure he plays to blend in but when you're alone with him is another character. Mean.

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During the relationship, when I attempted to leave or end arguments, he would sometimes position himself in front of the door or otherwise block my path, which I experienced as intimidating. When I reacted with distress, he would dismiss my concerns and characterize me as overly sensitive.

I believe the cumulative effect of these experiences constitutes emotional and mental abuse and has had a lasting impact on my emotional well-being.

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Kolton last stated to me, "why does it matter if I watch you online or not?", so I guess he will always stalk me secretly while painting me to be the stalker. I wish I never met him. Deep down he makes me feel like he is a narcissist or a sociopath. Please stay away from him just like his ex-wife told me.

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I am sharing this testimony because I believe abusive and manipulative behavior should be spoken about openly so others may recognize similar patterns in their own lives. This statement reflects my personal experiences, perceptions, and beliefs. If anyone needs me to testify or ask questions, you have my permission to contact me on any of my social media accounts.

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If you are looking for answers, just know you are not only one, Kolton's ex-wife, sister-in-law, his brother all stated to me that they also are dealing with the same experience with Kolton.

 #USMarine #MountainHome #Cybersecurity #Idaho